Axel Holst
myBlog

This is an experience to do I was not prepared for, though I could have known better.

Once decided to leave the treadmill of life and all set up, you go your way by any means. Bicycle, hitchhiking, plane – whatever. You leave for the world and gaze at what is all on about out there. You lose your daily routine, you decide on the spot what to do and no plan anticipates any longer than 3 days. Well, that’s at least the whole point about leaving the 9-5 life.

3 years ago in Mendoza I met a guy, who was actually just about doing what I had then planned for. Living in a van, cruising around and trying to lead a different life with priorities differently set. The whole idea is to lead a different life but not to initiate any kind of revolution trying to change the world. Just to change your own life, which is already difficult enough.

However, he gave a good lesson which has turned into a kind of guideline for my current style of life: when you step aside and risk the change, it takes about 4-6 months to realise, you have stepped out and you are now „outside“. Of course, it is one thing to listen these words and another to experience such. But that is where I am in right now.

It has been almost a year now since I left, but with the travelling last summer for private and for the company, my studies starting in November lasting until end April plus a few things here and there, it is right now, this very moment, I am in this period of the 4th to 6th month.

The guy had forecast, when reaching this point, you open up for ideas, which in the past you would have dismissed as complete nonsense. But not anymore, you are open to them, you listen, you ponder and you decide what to do.

In my case there is no idea to weigh out and decide. In my situation I just have to come to grips with the aspect, that yes, I have stepped out but yes, I am still kind of inside through my family, my jobs and through permanent contact with the world’s societies, but I am basically out.

I have been travelling through Europe for almost 6 weeks now and my life pattern is more and more oriented towards and according to the sun. With the sunrise I wake up and with sunset I turn tired. That is a long stretch of time during summer. You deduct the time for driving, visiting customers, this and that, and there still remain a few hours you have to ‚kill‘ each day.

You start reading a book, you are typing long emails to friends, you drink a beer. But in the end all of this has an ending. And still some hours to go for the day. With time you appreciate the moments you can sit still on a bench at the lake’s shore and watch the birds and frogs all around. Listen to the nature’s noises and start appreciating the doing nothing. Your sense for time will change, but in fact time does not change! It is your perception of time. And it is now you discover slow motion.

You relax, you calm down. Your senses turn more profound. You lose the feeling of being hurried. You take your time. And to be able and ready to appreciate these moments you have to pass these 4-6 months, before you are able and willing to feel such.

I can now sit for hours at a lake (though yesterday I had a break …), not drink a single drop of alcohol, not smoking, nothing. Just hanging out, watching and listening. I don’t lack anything, I miss nothing. I am happy and fulfilled where I am and how I am. When still working as if on the stock market, this was unimaginable, but now and here we are, and it feels great!